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The abuser will swear, "It will never happen again" and may shower the victim with gifts and demands that the victim forgive him or her.There may be so-called "makeup sex" which can be quite pleasurable and provide the victim with a sense that he or she is valued, and really loved.Inevitably, in truly abusive relationships, the latency period ends with the beginning of another abuse episode; the abuser again feels angry, disrespected or treated poorly in some way and the cycle starts all over again.Though such cyclical abuse is repetitive and predictable, it is also intermittent, and the rest of the relationship might be perceived as good enough or even loving.

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Following the guilt and making up stage comes a "honeymoon" or latency period during which things are good for a while between the partners.However, regardless of the truth of any of these rationalizations, the believe that they are true is more powerful than whether or not they are really true.A second layer of reasons for why people stay in abusive relationships is uncovered by learning about the so-called "cycle of abuse." In a typical instance of domestic abuse (where one partner is abusive towards the other), abuse tends to occur periodically (cyclically), rather than constantly (all the time).If the cycle stopped here and stayed constant, most victims would find it very easy to leave and not endure abuse for long periods of time.However, shortly after the abusive event occurs, the abuser frequently expresses remorse or guilt and wants to apologize.They might say to themselves, "If it was just me, I'd leave this marriage, but my children will be better off coming from an intact home than from a divorced one".This may not be a rational position to take in all cases; the children may be in fact far more damaged by staying in proximity to an abusive father than they would be by being raised by a single mother.Victims that do try to break away from abusive partners may find that abuse escalates to dangerous proportions.Abusive partners may stalk victims who try to leave them, beat them severely, or otherwise attempt to control their ability to exit the relationship.Every time a victim forgives an abuser, that abuser is reinforced for being abusive, and it becomes that much more likely that the abuser will become abusive again in the future.The net effect is that the abuse tends to continue forever until the victim finds the courage to leave or is abused to death (e.g., murdered, in the most serious, violent cases).

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