Savior complex in dating

After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.Thought this test might be something for the guys pursuing relationships to think about.It's really a control issue, the rescuer feels in charge, in control when he or she is with someone who needs to be rescued. If that person gets on his or her feet, the rescuer usually can't handle it, can't handle giving up control. We’ve talked about the Nice Guy, and the perils of the Geek Girl fantasy. They’re the ones who try to live by a self-imposed anachronistic code of chivalry and gallantry.Now it’s time to cover another branch of nerds and the issues they have with regard to women. They’re the ones attracted to the “distressed”, the depressed, needy or damaged women, convinced that they can “rescue” them from themselves. If you or anyone you know has ever shown signs of White Knight Syndrome, you’re gonna want to read this.They’re the ones who don’t realize just how insulting their attitudes are… White Knights are a subset of the classic Nice Guy, with a twist.Where a Nice Guy is passive, hoping that mere proximity and obsequiousness will eventually win a woman’s heart, a White Knight is active, working to “rescue” a woman in “distress”.

And if she didn’t “need” him, what other reason could she possibly want to keep him around?

Of course, therein lies the paradox of the White Knight’s relationship with the object of his affection; despite the “need” of the woman, the White Knight is incredibly needy himself.

He needs frequent reassurance from his partner that no, she really love him, everything’s alright, she appreciates him, etc. More than anything else, the White Knight fears losing her approval – or worse, being abandoned.

Since there’s a dearth of dragons and ogres to be slain, and most of the trolls are infesting blogs and forums instead of hiding under bridges, White Knights focus on women with issues – usually involving substance abuse, past trauma or chronic illnesses, whether emotional or physical. Although they will rarely admit it to anyone – or even to themselves – they’re motivated by the hope that by “rescuing” the fair damsel, she will be so overcome with gratitude that she will reward him with her love… It’s certainly not his intention; in fact, many White Knights would insist that they see women as being be misogynists.

And yet for all of their protesting, the White Knight’s behavior and actions are paternalistic in the extreme.


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