So if someone gives to them, they feel they have lost what is most desirable about themselves.
To give another example of dating anxieties about receiving, one man, for example, was visiting his date and she offered to go and get him a glass of wine.
An example is a mother who buys new school clothes for the child while complaining that getting the clothes for the child means there is not enough money for the mother to buy anything new for herself.He agreed and within seconds experienced acute anxiety.His self-talk was something like "She's going to resent doing something for me and later be critical of me." For him, recognizing his anxiety at receiving was actually progress, because previously he had just avoided generous and loving women.For every person the past experiences and the meanings made of those experiences are unique.But I see some common patterns that regularly show up with the anxiety about receiving. Probably guilt for depriving the mother, shame for wanting or needing, perhaps resentment at being burdened by the mother's insensitivity to how this communication would affect her child.Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings.There are many kinds of love, but most people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner.What can be done about the anxiety of receiving now? Another step is to recognize that since dating is an exercise of dealing with the unknown, it is useful to come to know your patterns of dealing with the unknown.Many people just project their fears into to the future, which by definition in unknown.The person she is interested in seems to be willing and able to meet her deepest needs.You might think she'd be ecstatic at this long longed for situation.