Loving parents offer consistent validation to their children, validating their feelings, their perceptions, their gifts and talents, their particular form of intelligence, their interests, their kindness, caring and intuition.You are very fortunate if you received this kind of validation from your parents.When you choose to be kind to yourself and to others and to value yourself for your kindness, you will find yourself feeling very happy with yourself.Think of your feelings and inner knowing as an actual child - your inner child.Since I received very little validation as I was growing, and I never saw my parents validate themselves, I had no idea how to do it or even that it was possible to validate myself.Now I know that self-validation is not only possible, but absolutely necessary to feel happy, inwardly peaceful, secure, worthy and have loving relationships with others.
Our true selves, our personal truth was not validated...
Being human, most of us have been on both sides of these comments. You may be carrying a legacy of invalidating that is still taking too much from you.
Hopefully, we catch ourselves, our partner gives us a “WHAT? If you think it is possible – here are some Strategies For Changing: Re-consider — The Familiar Sometimes we are unaware of the way we sound or the impact of our message because it is the way people have always communicated with us. Observe Self and Impact on Other If your intent is good but your partner is clearly upset or looks embarrassed – allow yourself a second or third take: “Let me try this again – What I am saying is that we have to make a decision this week about the trip.
If your parents also validated their own feelings, perceptions and so on, then you are extremely fortunate, as you likely learned to do this for yourself from their role modeling.
However, if your parents did not validate you or themselves, then the chances are that not only do you not know how to do this for yourself, but you don't even know that it is your responsibility to validate yourself.