But in the “down” season, that opposite-sex friendship could become a destructive wildfire – and one that is very hard to extinguish.During that “down” season when you start having issues, disagreements, and fights with your wife, conveniently you have a female friend who understands you, will listen, is “always there for you,” and is fun and easy to talk to.
if one of us has respectfully asked the other not to. Don’t send that completely innocent text about “work stuff” after hours.But what I am saying is, the unavoidable progression of relationships is something that is far to easily ignored, for how dangerous they can be.If ignored and dismissed for too long, you’ll be in a relationship too deep to stop.Here is my experience with this type of situation: While I was in college in Santa Barbara, I had a good friend that was a girl. This started to cause a lot of issues with Auj and I… Audrey had asked me many times to stop hanging out with this girl as frequently as I was. I was wrapped up in my “harmless” relationship with this girl.Simultaneously, Audrey and I were in a long-distance relationship. but I couldn’t understand why, because in my mind we were just friends, maybe even in her mind too. There came a time where, despite my lack of understanding at the time, if I wanted a healthy relationship with Audrey, I had to say goodbye to my friend.There was nothing wrong with her, she didn’t do anything wrong, in fact, she helped me a ton and had a huge impact on my life in college…. Think about it this way, say you have a scale of 0 – 100 percent. You cannot give more than 100 percent effort, it’s not possible!Your relationships, not just marriage, are constantly fluctuating.The more you give to someone else, the less you have for your wife or potential spouse.And once you are married, your wife is the most important relationship you have besides your relationship with the Lord.Although my deepest desire was to have a healthy relationship with Audrey that was progressing towards marriage, my strongest desire was to remain friends with this girl.Sometimes our deepest desires are overridden by our strongest desires. Some people may say that they have always had opposite-sex friends, and marriage shouldn’t have to change that.