Most people I’ve met who are afraid of intimacy, lose the fear when they accept and feel better about themselves.
The question is whether or not the married man will fix this intimacy issue with this wife.
Let’s do one at a time starting with the ‘other man.’ He is definitely looking for love in the wrong place and with the wrong person.
Then he can go after a whole and available single woman. He’s the ‘other man’s’ competition, but not really.The ‘other man’ gets painfully left out, not yet knowing that is the best thing that could happen to him.All three people in this triangular arrangement have their issues.The important thing about the married man is he’s probably coping with his limited marriage by doing something else (work, alcohol, substances, whatever consumes and distracts him).In some instances he ‘knows’ his wife is cheating on him and looks the other way.The reality is he’s looking for love like the rest of us and afraid of what he’ll find.The ‘other man’ is probably afraid that he won’t be able to ‘handle’ a love relationship with a fully available woman.I know the storybooks tell us that it’s better to stay together.But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.He thinks that loving someone else’s woman will save him from this fear of intimacy. In my mind, this is an opportunity for growth because triangles are not good for people.But for the ‘other man’ this is a painful transition from an illusory relationship with a married woman in a triangle with a married man to a period of being alone again where some serious work can be done on his love life (if he’s up for it).