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When it comes to dating in Switzerland, online forums are full of expats crying out for tips on meeting the ‘reserved’, ‘conservative’ or ‘unapproachable’ Swiss.
It is not a question of being stingy, however; it is about equality.
“I advise men to pay on a first date,” says ‘flirt coach’ Thomas Peter, who runs how-to courses in flirting in Zurich or by telephone or email.
Swiss people may not be keen on making an effort when they know you are likely to move on in the near future, explains Tijmens.
She says: “Labelling yourself as an expat when you want to date locals is not always helpful.
Tell your date you have just started dating and have committed to give yourself at least three months before entering a new relationship.
As long as you have obeyed the ‘no intimacy’ rule, there should be no hurt feelings when you decide on the one you want to build a relationship with.” There are no rules about when to have sex The Swiss enjoy 10 percent more orgasms than their international counterparts, according to femininleben.ch, But how many dates should you go on before you have sex in Switzerland?
“This gives the man the green light to speak to you. Exacerbating the problem is the temporal nature of expats.Just say, you live here now.” Sharing the cost of a date is normal If elsewhere men pay on dates, this is not always the case in Switzerland.Alice*, a French expat in Zurich, reveals that although her Swiss boyfriend paid on their first date, he expected costs to be split 50/50 after that.“Later on couples usually want to split the costs – especially older couples," he says, adding that surprisingly "Among young people there is still a tendency for girls to expect their date to pay.” Blending commitment and independence is expected…Soon after he started dating a Swiss, Frenchman Martin* realized he was expected to keep his distance.There’s no specific etiquette on this in Switzerland, says Tijmens.“If you are only interested in sex or a one night stand, then the answer is one,” she says.But you usually need to date around to find the right match. Tijmens advises keeping each date to lunch or dinner – “absolutely no intimacy while you are dating several people,” she warns.“And do not lie about the fact you are going on different dates.I was prepared to sacrifice my left arm in order to have a smooth French language dialogue, without having to constantly stop and mentally prepare my next sentences.Don’t you wish you could just speak French like a local and naturally pick up the latest slang?