For most of my teenage years, I didn’t need people and I didn’t need love.
While I think you have some particular cultural stuff you’re also trying to sort out, my advice to young straight men who want to meet women is always going to be about subverting the dominant dating paradigm and the sexist culture we grow up with, and it’s always gonna run along the same lines: 1) Read books & blogs, watch films, look at art, and listen to music made by women.
But I think it’s a good idea to make a deliberate year-long project of it at this time in your life, when you are trying to figure out how to relate to women better. You’re going to read/watch/listen to something, why not make an effort to seek out women’s voices and perspectives?
Reason #3: It will give you many different perspectives on women as diverse human beings and allow you to hang out with women and get to know them in your imagination.
Use woman-created media to to remind yourself that the world isn’t only about you men women who have/have not rejected you as a romantic partner. Reason #4: If you ask the women you know for recommendations of books and movies they love, they will flock to this project. Have you looked into clubs, classes, volunteering, Meet Ups?
If you meet a woman, and you kind of like her, and you are looking for something to talk about, try asking her “ If you listen to her, and then go and read or watch that thing, she may or may not date you in the end, but you will get infinity coolness points because this behavior by men is sadly all too rare. This is as close as I ever get to the #1 SEEKRIT TRICK TO IMPRESS GIRLS kind of advice-giving. Some cool places to meet lots of nice people are: From how you describe yourself: Intense, intelligent, good at arguing, passionate about certain things that no one else likes, I am going to make an inference that you are very smart, quick-witted, and you like to be good at stuff and impress people.