Yet an effective manager must constantly assess his people’s performance and abilities and press them to develop and change.Such benevolent but real pressure is an important, unavoidable part of managing.Friendship exists for itself Friendship is not a means to some other end.
Another paradox: Caring, even close, but focused on the work Your relationship with your people should be driven by neither control nor friendship, defined by neither affection nor authority, though affection and authority should certainly be pieces of the puzzle.
You won’t be able to make tough but necessary people decisions or evaluate people accurately and give critical but helpful feedback.
If you try to stay on good terms with everyone, you’ll make exceptions for individuals that others consider undeserved or unfair.
As one explained, “What really makes it tough is that you get to know the person fairly well and you know he has a wife and two children and owns a home and has debt like the rest of us.
You’re saying, ‘Look, you aren’t cutting it.’ And you’re assaulting their self-image and threatening their whole lifestyle.” Perhaps you’ve made a rational choice: you think close personal relationships are the best way to influence people.